Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween, my faithful few! I have sort of a love/hate relationship with this holiday. I love dressing up (and treats, of course) but I hate being scared. My husband asks me if I will watch a scary movie with him in honor of the holiday, and I say NO. I don't even like things that are slightly scary. I don't like things that might make me think of scary things that are related to what's currently happening. I am probably the world's biggest wimp. :)

That being said, I really love being able to dress up in a costume all day! I don't get to go trick-or-treating anymore, but grown-ups that continue to dress in costume are praised for their efforts! I have always loved costumes, and so this is the perfect time of year for me to indulge in that. This year I made good use of my new sewing machine and I made costumes for my little family! It was my first sewing project, and I'm quite pleased with how they turned out! We went with an anime theme this year. My husband and I dressed as Alex Rowe and Sophia Forrester from "Last Exile," and we dressed our little boy as Totoro! It was cute beyond words (our little boy, that is).

Anyway, the point of all of this is to say that I'm excited for the evening's festivities, and I hope that all of you have a wonderful and spooky Halloween!

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Heart List: Sleep

Ah, sleep. I remember you. We had some good times! I'm sorry that I haven't been around much. My little child makes it hard for us to have time for each other. But don't worry! Some day we will be close again, and we'll feel that our time apart has only made us stronger. :)

Monday, October 22, 2012

Evil Overlord: Part 1

I came across this list years ago. I don't even remember where I got it. It was so funny to me that I decided to keep it. I was recently reorganizing some of my saved stuff, and I found it again. I had a good laugh, so I will share it with all of you. It's a pretty long list, so I'll split it up. Enjoy!

Things I will Remember if I Ever Become Evil Overlord

* I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.

* My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

* When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.

* One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

* My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

* I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi storm troopers, Roman foot soldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.

* No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.

* If my supreme command center comes under attack, I will immediately flee to safety in my prepared escape pod and direct the defenses from there. I will not wait until the troops break into my inner sanctum to attempt this.

* I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labeled "Danger: Do Not Push!" The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labeled as such.

* I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.

* My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

* I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.

* When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No," and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say, "No."

* All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.

* All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.

* All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.

* My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.

* I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.

* Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.

* If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead, I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Heart List: Good Grammar

This week I am especially appreciative of good grammar. I will fully admit that my own grammar is not the best, but at least I differentiate between "your" and "you're." I think that the way we choose to express ourselves says a lot, whether that be in writing or speaking. Why would we not want to put forth the effort to sound intelligent, educated and refined? Yet it's something that most people don't even attempt anymore. I blame emails and texting. But that's an entirely different rant. The best way to sum it up would be in the words of my little sister: "Good grammar is sexy!"